She was sitting at the tall table engrossed with a gentleman in a suitcoat. Her name card proclaimed “editor”.
I sat nervously.
The man left and a couple women joined her and chatted for a bit.
Waiting makes you think funny things: What if I have the wrong time? Did I write it down correctly. I scrambled to find my notes and sighed with relief. Nope. I’m early, which means I’m right on time – according to my husband.
The hands of the clock moved slowly like ancient beasts until they reached 2:28.
With slightly shaking hands, I gathered my bag and one-sheet packet. As I moved to take the first step toward the table, a trim dark-haired woman zipped in and sat down.
My heart pounded in my ears while my brain frantically tried to make sense of what had just happened. Fear took advantage of the moment, found its megaphone, and turned it up full-blast.
- Can’t you get anything right?! Only you would mess up the online scheduler.
- She’s probably got a better manuscript than I do.
- See, the editor is super excited to swap appointments for hers.
- Why am I here anyway??
- What gives me the right to think I have anything worth reading?
Fear was going strong until a friend happened by.
She smiled and asked me how things were going. I wanted to smile and respond that things were great, but I just couldn’t. I told her what had happened and to my utter embarassment, I felt my face grow warm and the emotion threaten to spill.
I said this whole thing is probably just a mix up, but it didn’t feel like it.
She was so kind and offered another option to be able to speak with the editor who it turns out is her friend. My friend went to grab some coffee while I took a few moments to breathe deep and realize that her kindness had shut Fear up.
No longer the megaphone but the quiet voice of Truth. This is what I have you here for. Trust Me. Be willing to listen and learn. Speak what’s on your heart and be guided by those who know what to do. Be confident in Me, I’ve made you for this.
So, when the lady left the table, I apologized and said that maybe there was a problem with the scheduler but my appointment time had passed. The editor checked and sure enough, there was my name, at the right time. The mistake had been hers.
Fear is such a liar.
He talks too much.